A Sordid Web
by Utenakun
Summary: If Kakyou had succeeded in dying the dark night Hokuto was attacked, how would fate have replaced such a cruicial dreamgazer? X AU, MP.
1. Part 1: 1992, Chapter 1

****

Title: A Sordid Web

****

Author: Utenakun

****

Series: Tokyo Babylon / X, alternate universe.

****

Summary: Fate selected four dreamgazers to carry out its machinations: a pair of sisters, a comatose man, and a frail young woman. But before Kotori could grow into her powers, as Hinoto and Kanoe were just beginning to untangle their foreboding dreams, Kakyou was already plagued by visions he understood only too well. When one of these visions demanded the blood of his love, he not only changed Fate, but also threw it into a chaos that could only be resolved by the forcing in of another bystander to take his place.

****

Rating: PG-13 for violence. Kakyou/Hokuto, some Seishirou/Subaru

****

Disclaimer: X is not mine, and you don't know how much that hurts me.

****

Notes: The title comes from a lyric of "War Child," by The Cranberries, a song I find quite appropriate to Hokuto's eventual (and yes, very much OOC according to Tokyo Babylon) outlook and personality.

A Sordid Web

Part 1- 1992

Ch 1.

A ghost is slumped on the floor. His long white hair pools around him in lazy curls, cascading over the folds of white cloth that drape his body. A ghost, indeed; his true form is pale and still in a hospital bed, unmoving and unreceptive for years now. Can one be more ghostlike and still exist in the world? And here, he does _not_ exist, he is but a distant dream conjured by his fevered brain and the inevitable workings of fate. He savors nonexistence. He waits, though he knows not for whom.

He waits for her. And she suddenly appears in the quiet sanctity of his simple wooden dream-room, another ghost, but as impossibly vibrant and energetic as a ghost cannot be. The orange of her baggy shirt burns his eyes, even as her wide green gaze warms a glass heart he had thought could feel no heat. And when she opens her mouth to pierce the silence he's kept for so long, he leans forward, automatically, to catch every musical sound.

"Where am I?" She wonders, staring about her and bringing up a hand to ruffle at her pixie cut, "It doesn't seem like one of my dreams, so…" with a sudden movement so out of place it seems perfectly normal, and a smile the likes of which he can't remember ever having seen, she turns to him, "it must be _your_ dream!"

"It… is…" he murmurs, the words sticking in a throat jammed from long disuse. Then it fails utterly and he can say no more, only gaze at her with wide, disbelieving, delighted golden eyes.

"Well!" She exclaims, wonderfully oblivious to the somber hush she is breaking with every word, "how on Earth did I get into your dream?" Her lips part again, just for a moment, to let a cheerful little giggle through. She laughs, not so much at anything said but at the sheer joy of life, and her status as a ghost shifts from impossible to utterly inconceivable. Surely, she is everything people mean when they speak of life, and surely, he has never known life because he has never known _her_.

"I brought you here," he admits, dropping his eyes ashamedly. He is painfully conscious of how little she deserves to be shut up in such a place, how selfish his motives must seem. But nevertheless, he looks her in the eye again and continues-- he can do nothing else, with such a girl in front of him. "I wanted to be with someone."

Wonder of wonders, she smiles again. She does not frown, or narrow her eyes, or shout to be brought back immediately, she smiles. And when she replies, it is just as warm as before; ill will is so utterly foreign to her. "Well, here I am, and very pleased to meet you! I'm Sumeragi Hokuto, and you?"

His eyes go wide as she introduces herself, and for a moment, his brain cannot wrap itself around the idea that she does not want to go, that she wants to get to know him. That she is smiling. Finally, uncertainly, he smiles back-- no more than a nudge at the corner of his mouth, but it is more than he ever has. And he murmurs, "I-- I'm Kuzuki Kakyou. I'm-- very pleased to meet you as well, Sumeragi-san." Without even realizing it, he draws himself a little bit forward and up, to be closer to this vision, this utterly new sensation of warmth.

"Please!" She laughs, her voice more delicious to him by the second, "you make me sound like my great-grandmother!" She sits herself down cross-legged right in front of him, and stares seriously into his eyes, though her mouth, it seems, cannot stop smiling in delight at the sight of him. "Please, call me Hokuto-chan. And may I call you Kakyou-kun?"

Will the words make it out of his disbelieving throat? Perhaps it is only her entreating gaze, which calls them forth. "Of-- of course… Hokuto-chan." Whispered by him, it is not a term of endearment. It is a prayer, a hallowed invocation of his adored goddess.

She beams, he melts. "Wonderful." But then her smile fades, her eyes turn puzzled and worried, and he nearly weeps. "Before I got here, Kakyou-kun, were you alone? Must you always stay like this, in here, or do you like it?"

It's… not possible that she could care, is it? He is dreaming, of course, he is always dreaming, but this so surpasses everything he's ever dreamed that he cannot even respond, only shake his head no as his liquid gold eyes do their best to take all the pain in hers and contain it only in him. He would do anything to see her smile again.

And smile she does, and more than that, exclaims happily, "Then if you can't leave by yourself, I'll _take_ you! Where do you wish to go?" She catches up an icy hand in both her warm, strong ones; perhaps she has the power to simply _pull_ him out of his fugue and into the real world.

He hears this statement and smiles with the simple trust of a child who believes his goddess, responds to her warmth, and knows she can do _anything_. Yes, she can take him out of this dreary, lifelong dream; she can take him anywhere he wants to go, even… "The ocean, please."

The world around them shimmers and blears from dark wood paneling and whisper soft rice paper walls boxing him solidly in to glorious _space_, blue farther than the eye can see, a rocky shore beneath them and seagulls-- seagulls, of course, _that's_ what seagulls are!-- wheeling and crying overhead. Their sounds, the crash of the ocean: all this would be music to him, were it not for the infinitely more wonderful voice in his ear.

"It's much better than this in real life," she confesses, "this is just from one of my dreams. You know, Kakyou-kun, I want to meet with you again, and not just in a dream, in real life. We could go to the ocean together! Couldn't we?" She looks at him expectantly, and his heart breaks with the answer he must give.

"No," he mumbles, tears forming in his eyes and already making a bright blur of the scene before him. "I would love to, but I cannot leave… ever."

How is she undeterred by this? How is it his goddess can be so bright, so warm, so lovely, and have so much hope, as well? For she simply smiles all the more, leans closer to him, and states firmly, "There's no such thing as 'ever'. It'll be alright…" she laughs a little, "you're with me. Do you believe me?" And her hand is extended to him yet again, promising friendship, promising warmth, promising freedom.

"I do," he says, eyes dried by her words and will alone, lips learning how to smile more easily by the moment. "I do." He takes that promise, that promise of friendship and warmth and freedom, even as his hand clasps hers and two ghosts stand alone on a rocky ghost beach, both that much closer to reality for having met one another.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

Subaru sat dwarfed in a large armchair, frowning in concentration as he tried to plow his way through an esoteric book on onmyoujitsu. Truth to tell, it was pretty hopeless; he fidgeted for what must have been the thousandth time in five minutes, waiting for his sister to arrive. She was taking an awfully long time to get ready this morning, and he frowned again, now with worry. Perhaps she wasn't feeling well?

But the crash of the door being flung open and the energetic feet pounding towards him gave lie to that idea. He had barely glanced up when he was forcibly glomped by a vague blur of blue and white, a voice in his ear crying, "Good morning, Subaru-kun! Sorry I'm late!"

"Good morning, Hokuto-chan!" Subaru laughed, hugging her just as enthusiastically before pulling back to tilt his head quizzically. "What was taking you so long? You're well, right?"

"Of course!" Hokuto responded, the very picture of health. "Actually, I had a funny dream last night…" she hesitated, eyes oddly thoughtful. "I met someone who could pull me into his dreams. I think… I think it was for real."

"Really?" Subaru asked, wide-eyed. "I've never heard of that power before!" Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, and he gasped. "He didn't- he didn't try to _trap_ you in the dream, did he?"

"Oh, no, no, no!" Hokuto shook her head in vigorous denial. "Kakyou was a wonderfully nice person, really, only so sad… he must've been lonely before I came. Maybe he's in a magical sleep, or a coma, because he said he couldn't leave." Then she brightened up again. "But, once I was there, I took him to see the ocean! In my dream, of course. He looked so _happy_, and we stayed there for hours, neither of us wanted to leave…" She laughed a little. "That was why I'm late this morning-- I overslept. That, and I got the idea for the _cutest_ little outfit, I just had to put it together-- what do you think?" Placing one hand on her hip and taking a step back, she turned slowly for Subaru's benefit.

Subaru tilted his head and smiled at the display. She wore a slightly oversized white tank top, with a poufy taffeta skirt made of layers and layers of deep blues, light blues, and transparent whites. Beneath that were blue and white striped stockings, and white mary janes that had been polished to a brilliant shine. To top it all off was a tiny white beret set at a jaunty angle on her head, but apparently, she hadn't quite been content to leave it at that. She must've scrawled across the tank top in blue magic marker this morning, for he couldn't ever remember seeing the enigmatic phrase "Swim to Tokyo" on that particular shirt before, nor the advice it gave on the back, "Be a good swimmer."

"I love it, Hokuto-chan," he grinned, "it's really amazing what you can do with clothes! I mean, haven't you taken all that from other outfits?"

"Mm," she nodded, flashing a smile at him, "I figured it would take long enough as is without going and making a whole new _skirt_ or something… and anyway, it turned out very nicely. Now," she took his arm, "I'll make you breakfast! I'm sure you must be starving by now… and _say_, you still haven't told me if your dearest love will stop by today…"

"ONII-SAN!!!" Subaru yelped, flushing a deep red as the two walked away, comfortable in the knowledge that they were made for each other, twins who knew each other perfectly and, most importantly, would always be there for one another.

{Hey, what would a TB fanfic _be_ without mention of Hokuto's clothes? ^_~ Anyone who's seen the TB art book knows why I couldn't resist putting "Swim to the Tokyo" in somehow… =P By the way, in case you were wondering about that tense shift, scenes in the dreamscape are put in present tense, and scenes "in real life" are in past tense. I figured that since dreams have a tendency to be more immediate, it makes sense. And it also helps make the dreamscape scenes more surreal… or something like that. ^^;;

Anyway, I'm very proud of myself for getting this chapter out on time, and thank you _so_ much to Sakura Child and Lee for your wonderful comments! See you next week! ^_^}


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Day. Night. These words hold no meaning for him. How can they? But perhaps they did at one point, perhaps some dim memory flits in the corner of his brain, for rice-paper windows recessed in dark ghost-walls sometimes brighten, as if there were a sun behind them, and sometimes darken, as if all had abandoned him. He has tried tearing at these ghost-paper windows before, when he can summon the energy; they will not give.

He used to like it when they brightened, though, used to like pretending there _was_ a sun there, even if he could neither see it nor feel its warmth. Now he despises it. The sun is a cruel eye, dodging him, mocking him with its almost-presence, and he, this pallid, colorless denizen of the shadows is so repulsive, it will not even reveal itself to taunt him. And then, there is also this-- she is awake right now. Perhaps his lazy, half-lidded eyes would make him appear indifferent to any observer, but he knows he is all but on fire, waiting for her, waiting for her, watching as the rice paper's glow gradually… almost imperceptibly… dims.

"Good evening, Kakyou-kun!" A voice coos in his ear, and all trace of ennui is banished. He is more alert than he has been in years, and before he realizes it, he has scrambled to his feet. He is… standing. If he had any unused portion of his brain with which to marvel at this, with which to trace back how long it's been since he last stood in the dreamscape, he would probably collapse again from astonishment. But fortunately, one cannot dwell on such trivialities as drawing ever closer to the world of the living when one has something better at hand.

"Good evening, Hokuto-chan," he murmurs shyly, a wonderful, spontaneous smile lighting his features at her return. She came _back_, she is with him again, all is so marvelously right. Besides, the outfit the dreamscape has clothed her in-- a bright pink jacket with marabou-feather collar, plus matching gloves and a flouncy pink and green striped skirt-- well, it would warm the heart of even the coldest of detached observers. And while he once would have described himself as such, not anymore. "Was… I hope your day pleasant?"

"Oh, yes," she smiles, "Subaru-kun-- my brother-- and I met Seishirou-san for lunch. He's a friend of ours, it was very nice." Still smiling, she shrugs her shoulders almost coyly. "Although maybe I teased Subaru-kun a little too much, he was as red as a beet by the time we left. And Seishirou-san is as shameless as I am, between the two of us poor Subaru-kun really had a hard time!" Her laughter ripples towards him as some airborne nectar, and he listens with the intensity of one trying to save every last nuance for later recollection, intoxicating himself so thoroughly, he does not notice the spark of jealousy at her mention of a man she obviously enjoys spending time with. But jealousy-- even if it were recognized-- is so new to him, it would pass unremarked, no matter what. And who could bring the bright-eyed, living ghost in front of him to task? Even if he were not mortally afraid of wounding her, or angering her to abandonment of him, he still would not want to stem the flow of delicious words. "And how was your day, Kakyou-kun? I meant to ask you-- if you don't mind-- do you ever wake in the real world? Or…"  


"I'm… in a coma," he replies, hesitating ever so slightly at the idea of boring her with the details of his own life. "I'm not sure why, I've never been able to see it. But I know nothing can wake me, I am fated to this sleep-- until… the Promised Day." He falls silent again, and winces at the distinct feeling that he has said too much. Why-- why on Earth should he speak of destruction when with her? Why call such destruction when staring into the eyes of Life herself?

And then he curses himself, for the smile drops from her face and her eyes widen in frightened surprise. "You too are involved in the battle for the Earth?" She bows her head and confesses, "So is my brother Subaru… his fate has been named as a Seal, while I am never mentioned in the prophecies. But if I cannot be there to help him, then what will happen? I'm so afraid for him. What-- what will happen on that day--" Her voice trembles with the weight of suppressed tears, the distress she has always tended so carefully and so far away from view finally rushing up to the surface. For now, to learn that her new friend is also bound by such a fate, may well die, while she herself must sit helplessly by… it brings back all her fears, too many to be concealed.

Some distant part of him knows he must stop this now. He must speak no more of fate, of humanity's death or the year 1999. But he cannot leave this silence to grow into the monster it threatens to become, cannot leave her tears trembling on the edge of being. Cannot lie to her. And so the words come, ripping apart the fragile happiness he has tried so hard to create. "Nothing good. I have seen nothing good happen, for any man or woman, on that day. I…" his eyes slowly close in misery, the too-familiar tang of helplessness creating a sour taste in his mouth, "I'm sorry, Hokuto-chan."

Her breath catches, and she stares up at him again, making the impossible, yet inevitable connection in her mind. "You have… _seen_… your dreaming powers give you the ability to see into the future." Her hands are ice-cold on his cheeks as she desperately cups his face, begging, "Show me, Kakyou-kun! Show me what happens to the Kamui my brother must protect, what happens to the Earth!"

His eyes fly open, fully open, and reflect her stare with utter horror. Danger, his mind and body are screaming, she cannot know all this, you cannot tell her! "N-- no," he stammers, "Hokuto-chan, you don't want to see…" But his eyes have connected with an intense green gaze as hard as emeralds, as determined as the very Earth, and he knows he speaks falsely. His goddess has beseeched him. He must answer.

Around them, the room's dull tones drop away, become the speckled, grimy white of a concrete roof that looks out over a broken Tokyo cowering under furious, thundering skies. She gasps as an immense red dragon, pure crackling energy, tears itself out of the Earth and rushes towards a twin of blinding blue, roaring out its battle challenge as the two lock in deadly embrace. She screams as another writhing mass of twined blue and red collapses heavily on a bridge, dragging it down and sending out shockwaves that cause buildings blocks away to crack and shatter like so much porcelain. But his ancient, tired eyes are accustomed to this sight, have been dragged through it time and time again; he is not looking. He is staring behind them, craning his neck to see the exact moment when-- "Now! Hokuto-chan, look!"

She whirls around, face already haggard and shocked from the destruction she has seen, and has no sounds left for the sight she now views. Two men, identical save for the enormous white, feathered wings of one and the black, webbed wings of the other, battle each other with ceremonial swords as they soar through the air. Dimly, she hears his voice over the frenzied sounds of destruction and rumble of constant thunder. "The one with black wings is your brother's Kamui. The other-- his twin star. And while your Kamui fights for the preservation of the human race, his opponent fights for its very death, and the ensured survival of the Earth. Truth to tell, whether your brother lives or dies makes no difference-- it is only the winner of _this_ battle who can determine the outcome of the war."

As if his words are her permission to make sound once more, she gasps and sobs once, harshly, as humanity's Kamui takes a horrific blow and staggers on nothing, collapsing heavily into Tokyo tower. His twin follows with cruel smile and delighted eye, sensing blood, sensing the end, sensing his own victory. Humanity's Kamui pulls himself up any way he can, sweeping his sword out in instinctive parry to the other's deadly swing.

His Holy Sword, his Shinken, his last and greatest weapon.

It cracks.

Eternity holds them all, fighters and watchers alike, in its agonizing embrace.

Humanity's Kamui freezes in horror as time returns to them, as his sword shatters in a rain of metallic slivers, as Earth's Kamui runs him through with one thrust, as red lightning blazes across a darkened sky, as the dream room whirls back into view, as she screams and screams and cannot stop screaming--

She dazedly swims back to consciousness to find tears already streaming down her cheeks, her hands clinging to him, her own body in his arms. She cannot stop crying; what she has seen dismisses _that_ notion out of hand. But gradually, from the fact that he is rocking her desperately and whispering over and over to please not cry, please not cry, please not cry, she realizes he is trying to comfort her. It does not work; comfort is a way of hiding from what is savage or unpleasant, and there is no hiding from _this_ savage dream.

"I'm so sorry, Hokuto-chan," he continues, voice cracking with terrified worry that he has ruined her, that he has reduced her to his level, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have shown that to you, I shouldn't have--"

She gets herself enough in control to lay a finger solemnly on his lips, requesting and receiving silence. A few more moments of sobbing, a bitter cough, and her voice, too, is sufficiently controlled to speak without rasping or further hysterics. "No. You had to, and I… thank you. I needed to see that. Now… I know." She is not so in control that she can entirely suppress her convulsive shudder, instinctive reaction to the visceral images she has just seen, but her eyes have lost the horror and the overwhelming fear, and once again hold unshakable determination. "I've seen what _may_ happen. So now I know exactly what I must prevent, what I must stay and help my brother do. _Thank you_, Kakyou-kun."

"Hokuto-chan," he falters, so taken aback by this direct assault on his most fundamental rule that he does not even realize that he is holding her as any brash young man would, does not even flush and drop his arms. "H-- Hokuto-chan, you can't. It's fate, it can't _be_ prevented--"

A firm shake of her head stops his weakly begun protest. "No. Nothing is indelible; this too can be changed. I _swear_ I will do all I can to stop that future from coming about." Then her face changes to sad empathy, and she draws close to him again, murmuring, "But I'm so sorry for you, Kakyou-kun, if all your life you've been forced to dream such nightmares."

Now, he knows. He is holding her, they are embraced as closely as lovers, but he would not let her go now for all the world. He can't even readily identify what he is feeling, why he clings to her like this, nor can he summon the words with which to reply. But if he could, he would say: I am _not_ sorry, if the power that brings me those nightmares is also what allows me to see such beautiful visions as you.


	4. Chapter 4

{Well, as I supposed you must have guessed by now, I took something of a summer hiatus on this one. ^^;; BUT, I'll do my best to have ch. 5 next Monday, really I will! Thank you very, very much, Yati and Trickster Kitsune, for your great comments! I don't get much in the way of reviews, so they mean a lot to me. And, of course, eternal gratitude to Lee for betaing this chapter for me and reassuring me that Subaru and Seishirou were written tolerably, at least. Writing for such well-known cannon characters made me a bit insecure. ^^;;}

Ch. 4.

Something was most definitely not right. It had been two months and nine days, exactly, since Hokuto had mentioned her strange dream encounter, and ever since then Subaru knew for a _fact_ that her sleep had been erratic. Lately, it had become even worse; fearsome nightmares she refused to recount when pressed, even though he could hear her cries right through the walls sometimes. And on other occasions, she would sleep long past normal waking hours-- he was rather ashamed of intruding on her privacy, but he'd even snuck into her room on a couple such occasions (alright, maybe a bit more than that) and had seen a curious little smile on her face that somehow merely increased his agitation. There was something-- everything!-- not right about her dreams, even the ones that did not inspire screaming and tears. But what really had Subaru at his wits' end was that she refused to tell him anything! The two had never held back anything from one another, and here she was, distracting him with jokes or teasing whenever he asked, and simply falling silent whenever he pressed the issue. What was he to _do_?

Seishirou listened to the entire frazzled monologue with his elbows resting on the table, hands joined and pressed against his mouth in thought. His deep brown eyes gazed sympathetically at Subaru through their glasses, and he nodded or added a "hmm" whenever appropriate. Finally, as the other wound down, he beamed and motioned towards Subaru's barely nibbled morning pastry. "Are you going to eat that?"

"Seishirou-san!" Subaru wailed, "I need help! Hokuto won't even speak to me about this, you're my only hope!" Nevertheless, he _did_ slide over the pastry.

Seishirou gave him another smile, more than enough to bring color into Subaru's face, and munched on a forkful of danish. However, when he spoke again, his face was serious, if still kindly, and it was evident that he had been paying more attention than it had appeared. "And this… dream-controller of hers, do you remember his name?"

Subaru frowned slightly. "Only his given-- Kakyou. And Hokuto only mentioned it once, so I could be wrong. I've already tried researching the name, and any sort of power like that, with no luck… if only I had a family name, that might make it easier."

"Probably not," Seishirou replied, "it must be a very rare power for neither you nor I to have ever heard of it… or a very well concealed one." He frowned as well and swallowed another bite. "But my first and most immediate question is, have you noticed any change in Hokuto's health? I haven't, myself, but you would know better than I. Because, if Kakyou is not targeting her health or her powers, perhaps you're worrying yourself unnecessarily."

"Well…" Subaru stammered, "no, there's no foreign power whatsoever in her chakra, and she's as active and healthy as ever, when awake… but there are still those _dreams_." Maybe that in itself was what worried him, that there was no real symptom, nothing he target, or even point to as evidence. No symptom, yet he knew so deeply that he was absolutely sure of it, something was very wrong.

"Dreams are dreams, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said rather lightly, "and while I certainly wouldn't say this is nothing, perhaps it's not worth the anxiety you're putting yourself through. And," he added pensively, "there may be quite a different reason indeed as to why she won't speak of her friend. Why, it may be far more harmless than it seems." He gave a small smile.

Subaru blinked. "Well?"

Seishirou took a sip of his juice, swallowed, and wiped at the corners of his mouth, all the while quite oblivious to Subaru's suspense. "Perhaps she's just shy of telling you about her new boyfriend."

A slight, strangled sound emerged from Subaru's suddenly gaping mouth, but nothing actually coherent was issued, nor did it appear that his eyes would stop popping any time soon. Seishirou smiled slightly and amended, "Well, perhaps not so harmless, but at least in a different direction."

"Aaa… a boyfriend?! Her dream-man? But--"

"And why not?" His neat suit and businessman look clashing quite violently with his dreamy smile and the schoolgirl fantasy he was now extolling, Seishirou continued, "It's wonderfully romantic… meeting him every night in her mind… you know, Subaru-kun, you said it yourself: he's the man of her dreams." The smile melted into something more mischievous, betraying the veterinarian's teasing, but Subaru was rather too beside himself to notice. Finally, Seishirou took some pity on his younger companion and leaned forward a little to murmur, "Subaru-kun, relax. It's just a joke. For all we know she _may_ well be in a relationship with this Kakyou, but even so, that wouldn't explain the dreams, so you're right, we should try to figure this out. Why don't we both keep an eye on Hokuto, and if either of us sees a change for the worse, we'll decide what to do from there. And in the meanwhile," he leaned forward and gave Subaru another warm smile, "try not to worry so, alright? I don't want to see my precious Subaru-kun unhappy."

Subaru blushed, gulped happily, and nodded to his friend's words. "T-thank you very much, Seishirou-san. You're a wonderful help."

Seishirou smiled cheerfully, finished off the danish, and turned his head just slightly as he rose to clear away the dishes. For a single moment, light reflected off his glasses, turning them opaque, and for a single moment, Subaru wondered: _where have I seen such a face before, with eyes overshadowed…?_ And then the thought simply melted from his mind as he jumped up to help his Seishirou-san.

***

Reflexively, her hand reached out almost before she even awoke, and by the time Hokuto was sitting up and yawning away sleep, her diary was already in her lap and unlocked. It had become a ritual for her, in these last months; wake up and immediately jot down _everything_ Kakyou had shown her of his prophetic dreams that night. Only this way could she even begin to guess at their meanings, and how they might be changed.

_We started by the water._ She wrote rapidly, trying to recall everything, _Not our usual Dreamscape ocean, but a river in the mountains, cutting through a forest. We traced it backwards, from where it spilled out to a glorious waterfall, and then hovered there for a while. Kakyou had never seen this dream before, so his guess was as good as mine as to why we were there. But then, a little girl appeared, climbing over rocks on her way to the waterfall._ For a moment, Hokuto's concentrated brows smoothed thanks to a fond smile. _She was adorable. She had a puppy with her, scampering ahead, and they soon arrived at an outcropping above the waterfall and sat down. But then--_ The frown returned-- _then strange noises began, like the rumbling just before an earthquake. The girl couldn't hear it, but suddenly her dog sat up and grabbed her shirt collar in his teeth. I was surprised, she was more than four times her puppy's size, but he somehow managed to lift her, despite her confused struggling, and take such a powerful leap that he nearly_ flew _her to safety. Around them the earth was beginning to shake, and rocks were thrusting themselves out of the ground, but for some reason he chose to put her down in a large crevasse between two rocks, to which other animals were also fleeing. But-- as he did this--_ a single tear hovered, then tumbled end-over-end to the page-- _vines that seemed to have a will of their own shot out and impaled him. It was so, so awful. We could hear her screaming and crying inside her shield as he died, and the waterfall simply stopped flowing, what was left of the water crashing down and draining away as his torn body landed on the ground. Then, the Dreamscape brought us closer so that we could see her again._

_The sky was darkening unnaturally quickly as we flew towards her, and then we were perched on the lip of the rock, looking down a couple feet into her tear-streaked face. She had grown from around six years old to maybe thirteen or fourteen, and now she was in a dark green school uniform. She was looking beyond us, at the night sky above, and the only constellation visible: the Dipper. But, reflected in her eyes was only one star._

_This was where the dream bled away, and we emerged back in Kakyou's Dreamscape. He said the ending had made it clear; she was a Dragon of Heaven, and the dog represented her powers. Somehow, due to some inattentiveness or mistake on her part, she would lose her powers but not her life._

_Poor girl. If the pain is anything like what she experienced in the dream, it will be terrible for her. No._ Could _be terrible for her, but it doesn't have to happen. When I see her next, doubtless in the year 1999, I'll be sure to warn her, I'll be sure to do whatever it takes for her to not have to live through that. And, it could be that she is a key. Perhaps, if she doesn't lose her powers, she'll be able to tip the balance in favor of the Seals._

_I also wonder if Kakyou's interpretation is complete. After all, there is still the matter of the sanctuary her powers chose for her. Dropping her in a chasm seems… kind of crazy. And yet, she_ was _protected by it, and it only extended a couple feet, not anywhere near as bottomless as it first appeared. So what's_ that _supposed to mean? A disguised protector of some sort, for after her power is lost? Or have I carried the metaphor too far?_

_…Frankly, that doesn't seem very possible in Dreamscape._

Hokuto eyed that last sentence and sighed, knowing she'd probably been dwelling too long on the dream if she was turning cranky. She shut the diary again, locked it, and tucked it away in her nightstand drawer. She'd have to buy a new one soon; it was very nearly filled with dream after prophetic dream. Every last one was grim, or seemed that way, but she refused to give in yet. The diary was also filling with her speculations on how to reverse the events Kakyou had shown her… even if she had to admit, at times it seemed as impossible as he said it was. No names, not even true descriptions of powers all the time, just all these damn metaphors in dreams in vague allusion that nearly made her scream. But like hell was she giving in.

_And to think only a few months ago, all I wrote of was Subaru-kun and Seishirou-kun… I can't even really understand what's happened to me._ There was less to smile about, when she remembered the image of that long-haired girl, eyes dark as she surveyed her own heart in her hands, skewered on a sword she'd somehow drawn out of herself. It was harder to laugh, after she'd dreamed of a woman willingly leaping into a burning pyre. And it was impossible to look Subaru in the eye when her mind's eye could see his pale face, rigid in death, with the inverted pentagram of Black Onmyoujitsu emblazoned on his eyelids. _When the battle comes, he will face the Sakurazukamori, and lose… oh, God, I've_ got _to be there to protect him when that day arrives!_


	5. Chapter 5

{Sorry this chapter was a little late; I've been quite swamped. ^^;; And I think development has been slow, so I promise the next chapter will be _much_ speedier in terms of plot. Much gratefulness to Larania, Subaru Sumeragi-- and Saria, I hope I obliged you. ^_~ }

Ch. 5

Falling into Dreamscape, for her, is simply falling asleep. Her eyelids slowly shut out light, and then open again into the soft, quiet room. There is none of the waiting he must do, or the effort involved in projecting such a room-- though by now he is used to projecting, and therefore barely feels it himself.

Of late, she has been slipping in closer and closer to him, and tonight arrives sitting right next to him. Yes, she is blind in some ways, that she does not see what this means; but then, she is still in a mindset that believes only _prophetic_ dreams deal in symbolism. Here, in the neutrality of their dream room, she feels no constraint to act as Fate or her own will dictate her to-- and thus, her actions are more telling than they can ever be otherwise.

He has actually grown accustomed to greeting her, silence no longer a habit he must keep and break only if his companion does. "Hokuto-chan." He summons a small smile for her; tiny miracle of its own, but his eyes are darkened nearly to brown in worry. "Hokuto-chan, you haven't been sleeping well--"

"Nah," she denies this with an emphatic shake of her head, her smile as wide and bright as ever. And yet-- he wonders, is there just a little more strain there? Is it just the slightest bit tighter than the first blissful time he saw it?

This is why he reaches out with one hand and halts the movement of her head by cupping a cheek. "Shh, Hokuto-chan. There are many things you can keep from me, but that isn't one of them."

Distress creeps into her eyes, and she lets the cheerful exterior slip. "I don't keep anything from you, Kakyou-kun. I don't." How can she? He is her… her ally, her friend, her anchor and her strength, for he knows of the dread pressing close to her heart and helps bolster her against it. The side of her that not even her brother knows struggles and schemes against Fate, searches the old prophecies futilely for any mention of the twin to the Seal with onmyoujitsu, and weeps over faces only seen while asleep. All of this under a smile-- good cheer that is the absolute truth, but not _all_ of the truth-- and with the support of the man before her. To lie to him is unthinkable. Perhaps she has tried to gloss over her real condition, but only to protect him from worrying so.

He winces and stumbles over his words in his haste to reassure her, "I-- I know, I know… I just mean that you needn't hide what these dreams are doing to you, Hokuto-chan. They're terrible visions, worse than nightmares, I know." His eyes lock onto hers as he continues, those deep, soft wells radiating empathy, begging her more gently and persuasively than his words ever can, "I wouldn't blame you, not in the slightest, if you wanted to stop. Dreams _are_ taking their toll on you; they're hurting you. I don't want to show you dreams that make you cry, I'd so much rather see you happy, laughing, as you should be. Please, Hokuto-chan, won't you…?"

As she returns his gaze, her eyes falter, and her face loses both the traces of its smile and the more pervasive sorrow. Instead she peers back at him in simple confusion, his words igniting a struggle deep inside her. To wake up in the morning without tear tracks down her cheeks, to spend her nights with him in peace instead of horror… And then, there is also another reason, only the barest of whispers in the deepest corner of her mind. Buried far, far down in the clock that beats out every second of her life, something too insubstantial to be called a thought-- a _feeling_-- has begun to take root. There is a reason no prophecy concerning Apocalypse mentions her, and it can only be that she will not be there to see it. Thus her stubborn effort to _matter_ in this battle, and thus her desperate drive to live each day and night as fully as possible. But if her time runs short, isn't it better to spend what remains in contentment, rather than the struggle and agony she now submits herself to?

Isn't it?

She shivers a little as these thoughts race through her far too quickly to be processed, and her eyes open wide in a flare of emerald, then drop from his. In place of the rapid, fevered musings, a single picture has sprung into her mind, taken from one of the dreams he has showed her. It is of a young girl, dressed in a white gown, with flowing blonde hair and clear blue eyes. In the original dream, the girl was weeping, polishing a clear glass Earth with salt water. She sat up and tucked the globe behind her, then looked out into darkness with a serenity that belied the tears still trickling out. Death came to her in the form of the Kamui's Shinken, flying out of the darkness to impale her. The impact drove her body back, a little, though she remained propped up by the sword. Her eyes, now weeping blood, were wide with agony, but then she spoke the only words of the entire dream-- indeed, the only _sound_ of the entire dream-- "The future… is still undecided." And her lips, unbelievably, curled themselves into a gentle, happy smile as life fled her, as the glass Earth underneath her rocked slightly but did not break.

She raises her bright green eyes to his amber again, hesitation gone from her, for it is this smile she is remembering now, and the sudden realization that perhaps she knows of what agony and what joy could bring such a smile. "Kakyou-kun, I understand why you offer this to me. And I thank you for caring for me so deeply. But the truth-- and you know it-- is that I can't turn my back now. Even if nothing I do can make a difference, I must try anyway." Her hand catches his as she searches for his understanding. She sees it, but coupled with sharp disappointment that he could not coax her away from her hard path, and so she adds, "but not tonight. Tonight… let's just go to the seashore." Again, her lips curve, and it is not so much her suggestion as the sight of this pure, unstrained smile that causes him to relax even a little, even though he has failed. He nods his understanding and conjures up their favorite scene in less than a heartbeat, knowing this will be the first 'normal' night they've spent together in a long time and not knowing, despite his powers, that it will be the last.


End file.
